Using Internal Family Systems with Self-Compassion
In Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, parts are considered to be different aspects of the individual’s psyche that may have their own unique beliefs, emotions, and behaviors. Some individuals may have difficulty accessing or expressing compassion towards certain parts, which can hinder their progress in therapy. As a Denver therapist who primarily utilizes internal family systems therapy, I have spoken to some therapists who struggle to help clients who cannot access Self and be compassionate to their parts. This can be a difficult issue which takes patience and perseverance to help with. I can suggest a few general strategies that therapists can use to help someone who struggles with giving compassion to their parts.
Validation
Validate their experience: Let the individual know that it is common to struggle with giving compassion to certain parts and that their experience is valid and understandable. Normalize the difficulty of offering compassion to certain parts and let them know that it takes time to develop the skill.
Flesh Out Resistance
Help them explore their resistance: Ask the individual to explore why they may be resistant to offering compassion to certain parts. Is there a fear or concern that is getting in the way? What might be the consequences of offering compassion to these parts? This exploration can help the individual gain more insight into their own internal conflicts and barriers to self-compassion.
Visualizations
Use creative visualization if you are familiar how. Ask the individual to visualize a caring and compassionate figure in their mind, such as a nurturing parent or grandparent. Have them imagine this figure offering compassion and love to each part of themselves, including those parts that are challenging to show compassion towards. This visualization can help them access the emotion of compassion and make it easier to extend it towards their parts.
Be Compassionate
Model self-compassion yourself. As the therapist, you can model self-compassion by expressing empathy and understanding towards the individual’s struggles and challenges and learning to befriend the part that is “resistant.” Encourage the individual to practice self-compassion towards themselves by acknowledging their own suffering and offering themselves kind and supportive messages.
Conclusion
It’s important to note that these strategies may not work for everyone, and a therapist may need to tailor their approach to meet the individual’s unique needs and challenges. Additionally, therapy can take time, and progress may be slow but steady. With patience, persistence, and a supportive therapeutic relationship, individuals can learn to cultivate greater compassion and self-acceptance towards their parts.